23 weeks 6 days

Over the last month, I slowly pulled myself completely away from blogging. At first I needed space to process the scan results so I stopped writing (more details later, but baby is healthy). Then I felt like I had to be in a place where I could pretend that Reid was the only baby who ever died so I stopped reading too.  It’s not that I could pretend that Reid didn’t exist; he’s too much a part of me for that. It’s that if he is the only baby who died, then the chances of this baby I am currently carrying dying are much, much smaller. As  much I love you all and could not have survived without you, you are all each examples of another way  a baby can die. There’s just no way to make myself truly believe that none of those things are going to happen to me/this baby. I seem to be past the worst of these feeling for now, no promises that they won't get stronger again, but for now I think I am "back".